I want to tell you something that is very true and beautifully coincidental. The first time I had ever heard of South Park, I was waiting for the school bus with my friends. Isn’t that great? I feel like I won life. I was waiting for the school bus and my friend Katie (hi, Katie!)…
I would like to start this column by saying it’s only kinda going to be about The Muppets. Yes, they have a new show coming out. I guess maybe you should watch it? I don’t know. I have mixed emotions about it. I think maybe The Muppets should never do anything again unless Jason Segel…
Patty Pizza, Patty Pizza, Bacon’s Jam Fry Me A Pickle As Fast As You Can Texture. It’s more important than most people give it credit for. It can be the make or break element of a dish. It’s also psychological and shit. I mean, I’m no psychologist… but I know having a lick of a…
In general, Netflix has been hitting it out of the fucking park with their original programming. House of Cards, Orange Is the New Black, Daredevil, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt … and those are just some of their original series. They’ve done specials (tons of comedy) and they’ve picked up shows that we were devastated to see…
If I were on death row, I would want my last meal to be: an aged gouda and duck prosciutto crab rangoon sesame-encrusted ahi tuna, rare my Oberyn Martell smashed potatoes chocolate croissant (from France, not the American bullshit) I know it doesn’t all match, but I’m a dead woman, I don’t give a fuck….
You may ask yourself why a 30-year-old woman would have any interest in a 75-year-old man. If not for money … if not for fame … if not for some weird betrothal … then why? As a long-time fan of older men, I have plenty of reasons lined up. With Gene Wilder, it’s his humor,…
I guess you could call me a craft beer enthusiast… as in, I’m enthused about drinking delicious beers and lots of them. Not usually all in one setting, but occasionally I over-serve myself. Usually when this happens, I’m out at a bar. I can tell you exactly how it goes down. Around the time I…
This world has a long history of pig-and-cheese sandwiches. The most famous, I’m sure, is the croque monsieur: a French grilled ham and cheese topped with béchamel. England has their toasties. America has their monte cristos… which is basically a dumbed down croque monsieur that uses an egg mixture instead of béchamel. It’s all fucking…
I will spoil all your show shit. Look away if you haven’t watched. A couple of weeks ago, I gave you some fun death-inspired recipes for Game of Thrones. Knowing how ruthless the show runners and Mr. R. R. are about killing off characters, I thought it only fitting to give them all one last…
For years now you have been deceived. You’ve spent your whole life without the proper understanding of something that is supposed to be classic and perfect. I’m here to bring you the truth. BLT does not stand for Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato. BLT stands for Bacon, Legs and Tomato. It’s just been sitting there waiting…