Game of Thrones: Who Will Serve the Realm? (Part V)

The final half of the final season of Game of Thrones is upon us and we’re all wondering the same thing: Who wins the game?

Each week, I’m going to do a theme recipe for each of my guesses for who will sit on the iron throne in the end. Since I’ve planned these out in advance, it’s entirely possible that all six of these guesses will die before their post goes live. I hope that’s not the case, but bearing that in mind, I’ll be ordering my posts by most likely to die to least likely to die. Sadly.

If you guys want to see me make these recipes live, tune into www.twitch.tv/fontinaturner. I’ll be cooking on Saturday and posting the recipes on Sunday.

Anyway, let’s dig in.

<SPOILERS, DINGUS>

Today, we are honoring Tyrion Lannister: the most clever and capable man in all of Westeros. I felt comfortable saving him toward the end because he’s freaking brilliant AND George R. R. Martin has noted before that he is his favorite character.

There are also some fan theories floating around out there that Tyrion is actually a Targaryen and Dany’s brother. The Mad King was quite smitten with Tyrion’s mom and it’s entirely possible, being mad and all, that he raped her. Tyrion’s father loathed him and he could have known that fact. That would make him rightful heir to the throne OVER Jon Snow… err… Aegon. Soooo chew on that.

For our Tyrion recipe, we’re making Drunken Short Ribs, Atop a Beautiful Mess. Braised short ribs (using a whole bottle of wine) served over mini potatoes with bacon and blue cheese. The only thing better would be a sexing up some whores. After all, he is the god of tits and wine.

Half-Man/Full Flavor

Drunken Short Ribs, 
Atop A Beautiful Mess
for Braised Ribs (recipe adapted from bon apetit)
5 lbs pork short ribs
salt and pepper
vegetable oil
3 onions, chopped
3 carrots, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
3 tbsp flour
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 bottle dry red wine (like a Cabernet Sauvignon)
1/4 cup fresh parsley
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
2 tbsp dried oregano
2 dried bay leaves
1 head of garlic, halved
4 cups beef stock

for delicious mess
2 lbs baby potatoes
6 slices of bacon, cut into 1-inch pieces
3 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper
1 tbsp herbs de provence
4 oz blue cheese

Preheat oven to 350°F. Generously season ribs with salt and pepper. Heat oil in a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Brown ribs on all sides (this may take multiple batches). Transfer ribs to plate and cover.

Add in onions, carrots and celery and cook over medium heat, until onions are browned (about five minutes). Stir in tomato paste and flour, cook for a a few minutes until thick and fragrant. Whisk in wine. Add in short ribs (and any juices that pooled up on the plate). Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until the wine is reduced by about half (about 25 minutes). Add in herbs, garlic and stock. Bring to a boil. Cover and transfer to the oven. Bake until the ribs are tender, about 2 hours.

Meanwhile, make the mess. Toss the washed potatoes with bacon, olive oil, salt, pepper and herbs. Cover and bake alongside the ribs for the last 45 minutes. Remove the cover for the last 15 minutes. Remove from oven and stir in the blue cheese.

Serve ribs over top the potatoes, spooning a good deal of the sauce on top.



Fontina has an Ohio heart and Philly spunk. She loves giving you recipes for hearty food, pop-culture puns and a hell of a lot of craft beer. You can find her in the kitchen, at the bar, on Twitter or marathoning episodes of Shin Chan or Bob's Burgers online.


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