Dixon’s Mixins and Fixins

Looking through the thick curtain of trees and darkness, Daryl thought about what he’d done. It had been several months since he left the group and went back down to Georgia. He left behind his family. The only people, save Meryl, that he’s ever cared for. But what could he do? He was so sick of not only the politics, but taking care of everyone … All. The. Time.

“Rick may have been the leader, but he wouldn’t have been able to do shit without me,” Daryl mumbled to himself as he aimed at a squirrel, scampering up a tree. He had become the handyman, the guard, the soldier … anything Rick needed.

“We’re going to take down this herd of walkers. Daryl, you get those 90 over there, I’ll work on this one.”

It was bullshit. He just couldn’t do it anymore.

Besides, just because the world was halting to a weird and abrupt stop didn’t mean Daryl couldn’t pursue his dream. In fact, that was the whole reason Daryl NEEDED to pursue his dream. Any day now he could miss a beat and be taken out. He needed to feel like he accomplished what he had always wanted before that happened …

He needed to open up his own bar.

Daryl’s Moonshine Float

Sure, he might not have a lot of clientele. Sure, most of the world was either dead or reanimated. But what about those passersby who were still kickin’ and wanted a bite to eat and a good stiff drink? Daryl would be there for them.

Dead on. The arrow went right through the squirrel and Daryl attached it to his belt as he made his way back to the abandoned restaurant he was making his own. He had even ransacked a hardware store to paint up his sign: DIXON’S MIXINS & FIXINS.

He had been working on a menu based on local wildlife and ingredients. He had started a garden so he’d have fresh produce and herbs. There was a park nearby with lots of fruit and nut trees. He was even distilling his own liquor. He was going to make this work. Now he was in the recipe testing phase of his endeavor. He planned to have a full menu by the month’s end.

Walkers be damned.

Editor’s Note: Below are the recipes as they appeared on Hobotrashcan.com.

A zombie would learn table manners for this steak.

Chicken Fried Wildlife
1 lb elk or venison steaks
1 cup flour
1 tbsp seasoned salt
2 eggs
¼ cup milk
⅓ cup vegetable oil

for gravy
1 tbsp butter
3 tbsp flour
1½ cup chicken broth
½ cup half and half
½ tsp dried rosemary
salt and pepper

Place steak in a Ziploc freezer bag and pound with a mallet until about a ½ inch thick. Whisk together the eggs and milk in a bowl. Combine flour and seasoned salt in another bowl.

Preheat the vegetable oil in a skillet. Dredge the steaks in the flour. Dip into the egg mixture and coat in the flour again. Place steaks in the skillet and fry on medium low for 3-5 minutes per side.

Meanwhile, melt butter in a small saucepan. Stir in the flour. Once incorporated, whisk in chicken broth. Stir frequently until thickened. Add in half and half and rosemary. Salt and pepper to taste.

Remove steak from skillet to a paper towel to absorb excess oil.

Serve with gravy. Tastes better than people.

Peach & Toasted Pecan Moonshine Float
for ice cream (based on Taste of Home)
2 cups half and half
3½ cups sugar
¾ tsp salt
6 eggs, beaten
4 cups heavy whipping cream
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 cups peach slices (fresh or frozen)
1 cup pecans, chopped
For float
ice cream
moonshine
Coca Cola

In a large saucepan, heat half-and-half to 175°F. Whisk in sugar and salt. Simmer until dissolved. Whisk in small bits of the half-and-half mixture to the beaten eggs until they are heated. Incorporate the egg mixture back into the half-and-half in the saucepan. Heat and whisk constantly until it reaches 160°F.

Remove from heat, place pan in a bowl of ice water to cool quickly. Cool for a few minutes by stirring constantly. Whisk in whipping cream and vanilla. Cover and refrigerate overnight or for like, a significant amount of time.

In a dry skillet, heat pecans over medium heat. Toast for 3-5 minutes, stir frequently. Cool.

Thaw peaches, if frozen. Place in a food processor and pulse until mostly pureed.

Stir pecans and peaches into the cooled custard. Use your ice cream mixture to make ice cream in your ice cream maker.

Follow the instructions on that thing. Freeze.

Place a couple of scoops of ice cream in a mason jar, followed by a shot of moonshine. Top off with Coca Cola. Serve with a straw and a crossbow.