Innies and Outies

This is my third attempt at writing this column. The problem is… there is so much to say and so many different ways to say it. Honestly, writers much better than me have done it justice where I will inevitably come up short.

My first column was a short story about a society where people with innie belly buttons could only marry people with outie belly buttons. To me, it seemed just as sensical as a society in which marriage only existed if you liked the right body parts.

My second column was angrier. I complained about, not only the bigots and assholes of our country, but the people who exclaimed pride over our country for coming to this decision. You see, I feel as though the word pride is too special in this case and should not be repurposed to pat the back of a government that barely scraped by with this decision. It’s bastardizing the one word that gives the LGBT community hope and comfort in our often unwelcoming society.

This is the third. I’m taking a deep breath. I’ve meditated. I’m going to have a sunnier outlook on things. Well… as sunny as I can muster.

Sometimes America is a hateful place. (That is, if you aren’t a white dude with a lady on his arm, walkin’ into church with a couple of rugrats.) But it’s also a beautiful place. With beautiful people. I’m holding out hope that with the SCOTUS decision of last Friday, we start to see more acceptance. More love. More people finding their voices and standing up for what is right. I’m hoping that this opens doors for the positive and that the outspoken bigots of our world begin to hold their tongues. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I think it would be a fabulous change of pace.

More love. Less hate. Please.

In celebration of love, I’ve made a couple of recipes. You can have a couple of weenies, topped with rainbow slaw. Or you can have a couple of fish tacos, topped with rainbow slaw. Or, you can be like me and sample a little bit of everything.

Life is beautiful. Enjoy the good things when they come your way.

Happy equality, my wonderful friends!

Add a little rainbow to your weenie

Equality Dogs and Tacos with Rainbow Slaw
rainbow slaw
1 cup red cabbage, julienned
1 cup baby purple potatoes, quartered
1 cup green cabbage, julienned
1 ear corn
1 cup carrots, shredded
1 red bell pepper, julienned
½ cup red wine vinegar
½ cup olive oil + 2 tbsp olive oil (divided)
¼ cup honey
2 limes, zested and juiced
salt and pepper, to taste

Preheat oven to 400°F. Toss baby potatoes with 2 tbsp olive oil in a baking dish. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool.

Place ear of corn (in husk) on a place. Microwave for 2 minutes. Slice the non-furry end off. Squeeze the cob out. Slice the kernels off the cob. Let cool.

In a large bowl whisk together the rest of the olive oil, vinegar, honey, lime zest and juice and salt and pepper.

Place each veggie in separate Ziploc baggies. Distribute the dressing amongst the bags. (You’ll need a little more for the cabbage than the rest of the colors.) Zip up and refrigerate for 8-12 hours.

Fish tacos for all!

fish tacos
2 fillets of mahi mahi
8 corn tortillas
chipotle mayo (use Bobby’s recipe)
rainbow slaw (recipe above)
1 cup lager (I’m using Great Lakes Dortmunder Gold)
1 cup flour + more for dredging.
salt and pepper
oil, for frying

Slice filets in half.

Preheat several inches of oil in a saucepan.

In a large bowl, whisk together 1 cup flour, 1 cup lager and ½ tsp each of salt and pepper. In another bowl, dump about a ½ cup flour.

Check your oil. If you have a thermometer, it needs to be about 350°F. Or, when a pinch of flour sizzles, you’re ready to fly… er… fry.

Salt and pepper the filets liberally. Dredge each piece in the flour and then coat thoroughly in the beer batter. Fry until golden brown and cooked through, turning about halfway through. It should take around five minutes per piece. Remove to a paper towel-lined plate to drain.

Heat corn tortillas in a dry, hot skillet for a few seconds per side.

Build tacos with tortillas, fish, a drizzle of chipotle mayo and the rainbow slaw.

There’s no need to eat any other taco, for the rest of your life.

beans and weenies
4 sausages
4 hot dog buns
1 cup baked beans (recipe for the magical fruit)
rainbow slaw (recipe above)

Grill sausages (on the grill or in a grill pan).

Place in betwixt buns.

Top with beans and slaw.