Star Trek: Into Darkness… Into My Mouth

Editor’s Note: Below is the column as it appeared on Hobotrashcan.com.

Greetings HoboTrashcanites!

I’m very happy to be developing pop culture-themed recipes for your enjoyment. I do hope that some of you are able to cook up some delicious shit to celebrate every time our nerdy little hearts go pitter-patter over a new pop culture milestone.

That being said, there aren’t many milestones larger than when a new Star Trek movie comes out. This weekend, Star Trek Into Darkness comes to theaters and it comes hard. I know there will be Trekkies everywhere pre-gaming for this event and I’m here to help. I’ve developed a themed meal to rock your Starfleet-issued socks off.

I apologize to vegetarians for the sheer meatiness of the main dish, but you don’t get to rule Asia without scarfing down some massive amounts of meat. Or at least that’s how I see it. That’s why, you’re about to make The Wrap of Khan. Beef satay isn’t delicious enough on it’s on, so we’re gonna wrap that shit in bacon. Throw a little Sriracha peanut sauce at that action and you have a dish worthy of any supervillain’s respect.

Every bad guy needs a cast of good guys, and that’s exactly what you’ll find in the U.S.S. Enterfries. Potatoes come from every background to work in perfect unison in this crispy-yummy side dish with curried ketchup dipping sauce.

Wash it all down with a logically-concocted Spocktail. Part chocolate stout/part Vulcan port (or regular port if that’s all you have), this beer cocktail is well-balanced and ridiculously tasty. And if the alcohol doesn’t have any effect on you, the chocolate certainly will. Drink Lots and Prosper, my friends.

The Wrap of Khan
(Peanut Sauce Adapted from Martha Stewart)

Meats

• 1 lb boneless/trimmed New York strip, top round or London broil, cut into thin 4-6” long strips
• 1 lb applewood smoked bacon
  

  Raw Kaaaahns!

Marinade *

• ½ cup soy sauce
• ¼ cup olive oil
• 1 lime, juiced
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp fresh ginger, minced
• 1 shallot, thinly sliced
• ½ tsp black pepper

Sriracha Peanut Sauce *

• 1 cup dry roasted peanuts
• 1 tbsp soy sauce
• 2 tbsp fish sauce
• 2 tsp sesame oil
• 1 ½ cups coconut milk
• 1 lime, juiced and zested
• 2 tsp Sriracha
• 1 clove garlic, minced

Garnish

• chopped peanuts and chives

Special Equipment

• bamboo skewers

Skewers
Combine marinade ingredients. Pour over beef strips in a freezer bag. Seal, place in a dish and refrigerate. Let marinate for at least an hour, preferably overnight. Soak bamboo skewers in water for a least a half hour so they don’t catch on fire.

Preheat oven to 450°F. (Or start up that grill. It’s May. It’s about fucking time.)

Time to stab some meat. Take a skewer, stab one end of the bacon slice, followed by the beef. Ribbon the beef onto the skewer. Follow that up by tightly wrapping the bacon up and around the beef. Secure the bacon on the pointy end. Place each finished skewer on a metal rack, placed in a baking dish.

Once they are all assembled, cook them suckas. Make sure to flip half way through. You’ll need about 20 minutes for each side in the oven.

After the bacon is crispy and you can’t wait anymore, plate them up and garnish with chopped peanuts and chives.

Sriracha Peanutty Goodness
Comine all the ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. Refrigerate until ready to use.

* While I obviously prefer the recipes I come up with (cause I’m awesome) … if you were to say, I don’t know, buy a bottle of Lawry’s Sesame Ginger or Teriyaki Marinade and a jar of Taste of Thai Peanut Sauce, you’re still gonna have a kickass dish to impress your peeps. It’s all dependent on your personal capabilities and preferences.

U.S.S. Enterfries
(Curried Ketchup adapted from Food Network Magazine)

Fries

U.S.S. Enterfries

• 2 lbs. assorted potatoes (I use Yukon Gold, Red, Purple and Sweet Potatoes), cut into wedges
• ½ tbsp freshly ground sea salt
• ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper
• ½ tsp garlic powder
• ¼ tsp cumin
• ¼ tsp ground ginger
• ⅛ tsp cayenne pepper
• oil for frying

Curried Ketchup

• ½ cup ketchup
• ½ lime, juiced
• 1 tsp curry powder
• ½ tsp sriracha

Combine dry spices in a bowl. Set aside.

Mix the ketchup, lime juice, curry and Sriracha. Refrigerate until needed.

Place your wedges in a bowl and cover with ice water. Let set for a half hour to remove the starch. Then drain. (This step is technically optional, but will result in crispier Enterfries.)

Heat oil over medium high heat.

Pat your wedges dry and gently drop into the heated oil. Fry until crispy and brown and floating. Remove to a plate lined with paper towels. Sprinkle with seasoning mixture.

Serve alongside the Wrap of Khan.

Spocktail

Ingredients

• 1 part Port
• 4 parts Chocolate Stout **

How

Combine ingredients in a glass. Drink. Repeat.

** I used Souther Tier Chocolat, but I also recommend Samuel Smith Organic Chocolate Stout or any other stout heavy on chocolate flavors.